and im starting to have a strange feeling that you wont touch this skin in the same way you used too. that maybe after all this time apart is starting to wear on us. i mean…we havent ever been an “us” since you got home, but you sure of hell have felt like mine regardless. i dont want this, and i still miss you. but i know that eventually maybe there will be a time that we can finally feel closure. today felt dry, im not sure why, lunch was nice but sitting around just felt boring, which was a first. slowly but surely we are becoming less and less a part of each others lives, not even texting every day helps that. maybe its worse being so close while apart that once it comes time to spend time together there isnt much to talk about. but thats all cuz we arent a part of each others lives, we dont have common activities, or friends really. but i saw the spark again tonight, and thats what stops me in my tracks. just looking up and seeing you grinning at me reminds me that youre mine, youve been mine all this time no matter what. thats why youre still here. but i cant help but feel that maybe this is all coming to a close soon. very soon that is. and that maybe you will just be a memory, as awful as that feels and sounds. i know its important though. and i know its important to find someone that isnt you. but its hard, it really is. and im not sure how to move forward because you are such a part of me. how do i explain it to someone new? how can they feel comfortable? how do i know when its the end, and how do i know when we remain so close. you were the first but not the last, and i cant thank you enough for constantly building me up. maybe someday i can do the same for another.